Do you seek ME for what I can do or do you seek ME for who I Am?

I have been spending a lot more time reading this pass few days. And through His Word and books written by His servants, God has been dealing with me personally. I now understand why until now i haven't even gotten a reply for a part time job, i don't think it's a coincidence. God wants to use this time to draw me back into perspective and nearer to Him. I was reading the book 'Drawing Near' by John Bevere and for the first time in some time, i heard God speaking to me ever so clearly.

'Do you seek me for what I can do or do you seek me for who I Am?'

I was awestrucked and immediately repented before God. God had let surfaced what was actually in my heart. I did not heed his pat on my back. I was constantly praying for God to provide me a job. But was that what God wanted me to be doing? The prolonged time that i was in my room because of my ankle injury was an opportunity for me to draw near to God once again. Let me share with you what God had taught me.

What is our motivation as a Christian? What should be our primary motivation?
Obedience is better than sacrifice. That would mean that if God says don't go to Africa as a missionary or don't start the 'feed the poor' ministry. Don't do it. We will always try to reason that these are for good causes but if God has made it clear, just listen. We often also need to examine our motives.

What type of Christians are we?
There are 2 types:
1. Those who seek God for what He can do.
2. Those who seek God for who He is.

Lets examine this with a familiar story in the Bible. In Exodus, there is a clear contrast between Moses and the children of Israel.
The Israelites can be compared to those who seek God for only what He can do. People who follow God but only for the salvation and blessings. They acknowledge Jesus as their Lord and saviour and look to Him for deliverance and provision but their heart is revealed by personal desires and actions. They still want to take control of their lives and think that they know what is best for themselves. The Israelites were like that. They cried to God for deliverance for hundreds of years and God answered them with Moses. They rejoiced and bowed their heads to worship. But suddenly everything changes when Pharoah rejects Moses' delivering word from God and adds the workloads of the Israelites. They were all so angry that they called judgement on Moses. But when Pharoah finally let's them go after the plagues they have a change in attitude again and were praising God once again and they were confident in Moses once again. When they get to the Red Sea and see the Egyptian army hot on thei heels. Once again they turn to Moses and curse him for bringing them out here to die. (Remember Moses was God's prophet so if they opposed Moses they were opposing God.) Then God intervenes once again by spliting the Red sea. When the Egyptian army was consumed, once again their hearts are changed and worship and praise the Lord once again. This happens again and again during 40 years in the desert with examples like the manna and the golden calf. Why didn't the Israelites ever learn their lesson? Because they were seeking their own desires and only cared for their own comfort. They are happy as long as God is doing what they wanted and unhappy whenever God wasn't doing what they wanted. They have placed their desires over His heart or presence.

Moses was different. He seeked God for who He was. The cycle of the Israelites were repeated many times and God was fed up with it and He told Moses in Exodus 33:1-3. He had promised the Israelites through the patriachs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob the promise land. He was fed up with the stubborn Israelites and didn't want to go with them but instead send an angel to help them drive out the rebels to take the land. It sounds like a good deal right? which i think the Israelites would have taken it.
But Moses responded in Exodus 33:15. 'If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here.'
Moses said that he would rather suffer in the desert than go into the land of milk and honey without God's Presence. What was Moses' heart's cry? GOD'S PRESENCE. He desired the Lord Himself more than His promised blessings. Moses had put seeking God above everything else.

Where do we stand? Which one are we? I admit that i was only seeking God's blessings. I seeked only the world but not the creator. If we looked back at the exodus story. There has been a misconception that God brought the Israelites out of Egypt to the promise land. God brought them out so that they could go to Mount Sinai. Remember what Moses said to Pharoah on God's behalf :' Let my people go, so that they may worship me in the desert.' He didn't say 'Let my people go so that they can go inherit a land.' God gives us the opportunities and longs for us to draw near to Him. He usually gives us hints which we need to identify and respond. I believe if He comes directly to us like He did to Paul on the road to Damascus, many of us will die of fright. God is calling us to Him constantly, that is His heart's desire. He wants to know us, He wants to be our best friend. Shouldn't our heart's desire be to seek Him as well?

Listen...

Many a times we think we have planned everything out. Everything seems to be going your way, it all looks perfect. You are enjoying yourself and carefully anticipating all the wonderful things you have been waiting to do. You have worked hard to get to this stage. You feel strongly that you somehow deserve it. You have been looking forward to this moment of enjoyment. Ever had that feeling?

Suddenly, some little innocent thing happens and your entire plan shatters to pieces instantly. The first thing that comes to your mind is :' Why God? Can't you just let me have this moment of perfectness?' Familiar? I have had many moments like that before and this is my latest episode.

My exams just finished yesterday. As you might have noticed in my last post. I had a plan like i always do. I had a target. A goal to achieve. Everything planned out nicely in my head. All it needed was execution. I was walking to Uxbridge to hand in my application form for a part time job. I have walked on that uneven pavement many times before, but this time i slipped. Just a little tweek... there goes.. I SPRAINED my ankle..

I felt like screaming at the stupid pavement :'Why were you(pavement) uneven?'

I felt like blaming God :'Why God... Why?'

I felt like slapping the next person that walked by.

I felt like sitting down right at that spot and cry.

I felt like standing there and wait for the next person to fall so that i will have a partner.

I felt like squeezing air out of the air.

This were all feelings all in that split second. But the only person i could blame was myself. I wasn't careful. Thats all. Simple.I was only a couple of metres away from the place i was applying a job for. Man.. My first impression to the manager is a limp? Goodness.. What happen to my wonderful plan? It's gone.

It was a lesson that i knew God was teaching me. It's either i haven't learnt my lesson before or He just wants to strengthen His point.

Reminder: God is THE Planner, i am just the assistant

I have planned out everything. It all seems perfect, but God might have other plans. We often crowd ourselves with our plans and aspirations. Sometimes we just have to be quiet and ask God for His aspirations of us. I recently watched the movie 'I am Legend' which Will Smith acted in. I thought it was a quite fantastic movie. It was short, cost me a bomb for the ticket but absolutely worth it(thanks wei shin for the recommendation). There was something that struck me. This is the conversation.

Will Smith: How do you know there are many other survivors?

Lady: Err.. God told me.

Will Smith: God? You mean THE God told you?

Lady: Yeeesss.. Yes.. He told me.

Will Smith: You must be crazy lady.

Lady: Listen, the world is quieter now. If we Listen, we can hear God's plan. You just got to listen. He wants to talk to us.

I feel this is absolutely true. Sometimes we crowd our lives we activities and noise. We want to go out there and do something. It's not wrong but there's a time to listen.

Martha was busy preparing a meal for Jesus. Was it wrong? No.. It was sensible and respectful. When Martha complained, Jesus said:' Martha, Martha. Mary has chosen the better.' Mary was sitting at Jesus feet, listening to Him.

I feel sometimes even things as small as spraining my ankle draws me back to perpective again. A little wake up call from God. A pat on the back from God saying:' Hey son, listen here. Do you want to hear MY plan for you?'

When we are so busy with things in this world. Pause. Take a deep breath. Listen. You will be suprised.

Im Free!! So wats next?

Alast, i finally finished my exams. Overall it was good apart from accounts which was tough, but i think it should have done ok. I am actually quite happy with myself because i think i did study quite hard for this exam. Overall i am very proud of myself with this pass semester. I don't think i ever worked so hard for a consistent period of time before. My reward is that i feel good about it. Ahh...
Im free!! So whats next? Now i have nearly 3 weeks of holiday to deal with. For the fist time it is a bit of a problem to have a holiday. haha.. sounds crazy right.. but yeah.. i have to figure out what i am going to be doing for these couple of weeks. I want to do something productive. These are my tentative plans.
1. Get a part time job
2. Finish reading one book ('Drawing Near' by John Bevere)
3. Visit some family friends
4. Prepare for next semester
5. Drum sessions with church drummer

I was just thinking about it and i realise that in a couple of months time i will be going back home. Yoohooooo.. im so excited. I can actually count the number of months with one hand. haha... I am already looking forward to the journey back home. For now, it's back to reality. Continue to work hard to earn my trip back home. Yeehaaaa...

Exams..

Many of you all will be just starting the New year of school. Maybe you will get straight into classes or for the Form 1 & 4 you will be in your orientation week. As for me, I will be starting my new year with the ending of a semester. Weird.. yeah.. quite.. frustrating as well.. I will be having my end of Semester exams on Monday(7th) to Wednesday(9th).. And guess what.. i will then have another holiday which will last for about 20 days.. good? hmmm.. let's jus say i prefer them to be together then splited up.. anyway.. please pray for me.. God bless..

HAPPY reNEWed YEAR!!

It's the New Year. Welcome 2008!! New year celebration have never been big back in Malaysia. It is usually a quiet affair. Maybe because we come from so many different kind of races and we have our own new years to celebrate. Chinese New Year has always been the 'Big one' for us. Anyway, people always talk about new year resolutions. I'm not a particular fan of resolutions because i believe that resolutions should to be done every single day. Why wait till the new year? I think people use the new year as an excuse to make resolutions and changes in their lives so that they can procrastinate. Isn't it true? hmmm.... haha...

On the other hand, new year's are good as well. Sometimes we may think that we have done it so many times before so there is no big deal. But i believe the most special thing about new year is the changing of the numbers. 2007 to 2008. It is a change that has to take place in our lives whether we like it or not. It is special to me in some ways. Many people gasp and say:' Wah.. one year pass so fast.' Yes indeed it does. It makes me think, so what have i been doing this pass year? Have i used it to the fullest? How can i improve the next year? It's good that it makes most people think about life for a second and ponder. It's a chance for us to be renewed.It's a chance to give thanks to God as well for His ever faithfulness to us.

If you haven't pondered about the past year, please take a moment. It's worthwhile.

If we are to be renewed, change has to take place in our lives. We have to change our actions as well. As dad always tells me:' Only a dumb man will expect change to take place while doing the same thing.'

Let us be Renewed, Refreshed, Restregthen, Revitalised, Refocused in Christ!

Dear God,

Thank you for the wonderful year of 2007. Thank you for your providence, love and patience. Thank you opening the door of opportunity for me. Thank you for the lessons that you have taught me. I pray Lord that this new year will be another step of change for me. I prayed that i will have renewed strength and wisdom in You to continue this journey. Love You Lord. I Bless you. Amen.

Attention All PMRians and others as well..

Wow.. i have been hearing wonderful news back home.. Just wanted to Congratulate all PMRians for the wonderful results each and everyone of you got.. continue to shine for the Lord..

As you all move on to Form 4, you might get a little shock in the beginning but you will get used to it. The fact that you might find out that things are maybe much more difficult shows that you are progressing into a whole new level of learning. Take it as a challege and a form of increasing maturity on your part. Hope that you all will enjoy this new stage of your education.

Before i forget, please consider taking Bible Knowledge as a subject. God has called us to be students but that doesn't mean that we only study science, maths etc. We should be constantly study His Word as well. Studying God's Word is even more important. Since the Malaysian government has given us this wonderful opportunity to take Bible Knowledge as a subject, shouldn't we as Christians take it? I don't know the statistics, but i know that many Christians do not take Bible Knowledge because they might complain:

1.they have too many subjects already

2.Bible Knowledge is too hard.

3.I might do badly and it will not look nice on my certificate

What utter nonsense....

Are we saying that taking other subjects are more important than the WOrd of God?

What would the Government think about us Christians when we only claim but don't take the opportunity to take the subject?

Doesn't it show how much we regard studying God's Word?

Anyway.. all i am saying is please consider this carefully. I can confidently say that most of us do not study the Word of God. Quiet time is not counted. So, i say take this oppotunity to kick start your Bible study habit. It will 'force' you to do it. It gave me an extra incentive and motivation then to study because i was a lazy bum. You will only study 2 books, Luke and Acts which are the basics of Christianity. Don't think you already know it. The Word of God is LIFE.

No place like home...

It's the time of the year that you just want to enjoy yourself and nothing else. As far as i can remember, Christmas period has always been a very busy time for me. While i was a child, it was always the time we look forward to as we will get to buy our own presents for Christmas. Christmas Eve's dinner at grandma's house with all the cousins was definitely a time that we enjoyed. All the delicious food that will be made, and of course the opening of presents on the stroke of midnight. As i became a teenager, it was activities all the way. I remember dancing to the song 'Best Friend' for a Christmas party by the pool for church. Carroling was an annual affair but we have significantly grown from 1 bus load to 2 bus loads. Come to think about it. Christmas has always been busy and plenty of people around. That was home.

Spending my first ever Christmas away from my family is weird. It's not easy either. Am currently at a family friends house in south London. But its never the same even when you have friends around. Christmas is not only the celebration of Chirst's birth but a time for family to get together to celebrate. The world has changed so much that families no longer sit down together at a table to eat everyday. Children often can't wait to get out of their houses and complain about the incompetencies of their parents. Christmas is now usually the only time that a family has an excuse to get together to dine. Thats is maybe one of the best things that have come out of this commonly celebrated occasion.

Christmas makes me think of Family. My wonderful family with all my relatives as well. It is a time of celebration of God's goodness and blessing to our family. And of course my Family of God that i treasure so much. So spending Christmas with some family friends in a different country will certainly be a difference experience. But it can never replace wat is back home.Lets just say that there is no place like home...