Saturday, November 1, 2008

Courage my son, courage!

I have finally gotten my internet connection. I know its no excuse for not updating my blog, but it played a big part though. I have been really getting extra exercise with the 20 minute walks to university even though I don’t have lectures on that day. I go to university just to use the internet.

I have been struggling with quite a lot of things for the past few weeks. It’s basically about the path ahead. I am a planner, I plan things. If bits and pieces are lying around, I will put them together so that they don’t go wasted. The habit of planning has been heavily influenced by my dad, who used to get us to plan for the year ahead every year. First I have a master plan, which consist of major events blocked out throughout the year. The 2nd stage is the weekly planning, where I usually get my daily routine in place and I know what I have to do for the days of the week. The 3rd part is the planning, where I plan out nearly every single thing I would do for the day to the minute. It sounds crazy, but it can be done and I never waste time.

So what happens to people like us when we can’t plan? Or when we don’t even know what to plan?
We get stressed out. We panic. We go bonkers.

Unfortunately, that’s what I had to learn. God told me to do something, He gave me the confirmation to do it and I acted on it. I planned it all out, in the ideal sense at least. BUT, everything started to collapse. One by one, it all fell like dominos. It didn’t progress like I expected, not even a little. I know that the world is far from ideal, but still… I had the most difficult 3 weeks in my life that I could remember. Nothing seemed to be going right. So when the grand plan fails, all the added potholes show up in front of you, plus the Big guy up there stays worryingly quiet, I was totally LOST.

I started to lose confidence in myself. I lost faith. Did I hear God wrongly? After all that was said and done, maybe im not the right guy for the job after all. I doubted and questioned many things. I feared because everything seems to be in a mess. That’s where the evil one has triumph.
It was very emotionally draining as I struggled and tried to pull myself out of it. I shared with a couple of people where they encouraged me but it was still lingering around. That was until I went for CG yesterday night. It was a teaching on ‘Hearing the voice of God’. It was really a good session, but I was a little distracted. Then the leader led us into a practical session.

The 1st part was to pray and then be silent to hear from God. I have done this many times but it felt a little different this time round. I got the word JOSHUA. I had no idea what it meant so I flipped my Bible to Joshua 1:1. This is what it read:
"After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, it came to pass that the LORD spoke to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, saying: 2 “Moses My servant is dead. Now therefore, arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them—the children of Israel. 3 Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you, as I said to Moses. 4 From the wilderness and this Lebanon as far as the great river, the River Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites, and to the Great Sea toward the going down of the sun, shall be your territory. 5 No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and of good COURAGE, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. 7 Only be strong and VERY COURAGEOUS, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of GOOD COURAGE; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

I was astounded. The words where hitting my face. But, I still sat in the room emotionless and trying to just let everything sink in. Nobody in the room had any idea what was going on with me, at least that was what I thought.

The 2nd part of the exercise was to continue. We prayed and ask of the Lord for words of encouragement for others in the room. When it was time to share, one of the said: ‘Isaac, I have something for you. The Lord wants you to have BOLDNESS and be COURAGEOUS for the things He has in stored for you.’

I was stunt and completely speechless.

The 3rd was to be continued as we paired up to pray for each other. As we prayed, my partner said:’ Isaac, be COURAGEOUS. For the Lord is with you wherever you go. Do not worry about the things ahead but stay strong and be COURAGEOUS!’

The 4th part, we switched partners and continued the exercise praying for each other. The 1st words that came out of his mouth were:’ Isaac, I have 2 words for you. FAITH and COURAGE.’

I WAS DUMBFOLDED. The word ‘COURAGE’ was directed at me 7 times in one night by different people. I repented and slapped myself right and left. It was pure foolishness to doubt God.

We serve an awesome God. He is our comforter and friend. He is our fortress and our strong tower. NEVER ever doubt Him. For He is with us, all the days of our lives. Amen.

2 comments:

~StH3R~ said...

hoho, the amazing things God can do to encourage us...hehhe..

rendezvous@isaac said...

Yep, Amen to that.