glancing back, looking forward

Holidays have ended, Lectures have started again. It seemed so long ago since i had lectures. I had my first lecture yesterday and it was as if it was first week all over again. Our new lecturer got to know all the students in class, going through introduction of module, discussed assignments and all the other stuff. Felt a bit weird having to begin something new again.

As i looked back at my pass 2 weeks of holidays, i feel a leap of joy deep down in my heart. The goodness of God is just unexplainable. If you had read my post before 'I'm free!! so what's next??', i had big plans for my holidays. What turned out was that events were altered quite drastically and i practically didn't follow my plan at all. Why? Because God had other plans.. Can't stop Him can we? Look at Jonah.. He was in the fish's belly for 3 days with all that stink.. God was kinder to me.. I was in my room for 3 days with an injured ankle..

My holiday turned out to be:
1. Injured my ankle, sat in my room for 3 days
2. Read 3 books
3. Mentoring Programme and Orientation for new students
4. Visited Herman and met up with cousin
5. Brain scan
6. Watch my first rugby game in a stadium

All in all, it was a fruitful 2 weeks. Kept me real busy and rather productive. As i look back, I don't think my holidays could have gone any better. I thank God for the lessons he has taught me. The experiences i had in the MRI machine. To top it all, the amazing atmosphere watching rugby in a stadium. As my new semester begins, I want to dedicate it to the Lord. I look forward to the rest of my first year in university. That all the things i do may glorify His name. Amen.

Life is like a box of chocolates

Time seems to fly so fast. Just 2 weeks i was wondering how i am going to survive my boring holidays. But my holidays were exciting, busy and of course nearly nothing went according to as i had plan. I have been involved in a Mentoring Programme and orientation for students who come in now. I has been fun, bringing them around and helping them get settled. I really am enjoying myself even though it's tiring and out of my way. I have also been planning with my friends about what we will be having for Chinese New Year Eve dinner. Hmph.. we will trying to make the most out of CNY over here. Keep up the tradition. Will be going to Chinatown to get some of those Chinese food these weekend.

I will also be going to have my brain scanned tomorrow. Why? Because one of the professor in university found out that I'm a genius. They want to run some test on me for further research. He said my potential is tremendous and might even surpass Einstein. (stares...) OK la.. Im going for a brain scan.Yes, that part is true. They are doing research on badminton players.They want to study how our brain functions that gives us the ability to anticipate where the shuttle goes even before it is hit. It's quite an interesting study so i accepted the offer.

Secondly, i have been invited by a family friend to go watch a Rugby Match in Watford. He is the director of English Rugby Premiership side Saracens. I bet it would be quite an experience. First time in a stadium and will be sitting in the box as well. Can't wait. hehe.. Since i came here, i have grown to love the game of Rugby even more. My biggest regret is actually not being able to play back in malaysia as it is not popular.

My new semester will also be starting on Monday. Classes will be quite different this semester as well. The time slots are more spread out, so it will be interesting. All in all, it certainly has been an interesting break. Full of suprises and unexpected turn of events. God certainly makes life exciting. Don't ever said that life is bored. Remember what Forrest Gump said.

'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get.' Forrest Gump

All of us only has one life to live. We can choose however we want to live it. Let's make the most out of it.

Back to reality

I left University yesterday for Central London. I came to stay with Herman for the weekend. I was quite a long journey because of the tube delays. A normal and straight forward 1 hour plus journey turned into a nearly 2 and half hour journey. I was quite content in my seat with earphones on listening to music and a book in my hand reading. I anticipated the long journey and sometimes really cherish this times alone where nobody will bother me with not much distractions. It's as if I was in a world of my own. The feeling is kind of like in the movies when everything around is muffled. People moving about, getting on and off the tube. All I see is people's mouth moving and all I hear is the music from my ipod and the thoughts in my head. Ahh... my own little world. how nice...

Just before the stop i was suppose to get off everybody in the tube got off. I pulled out my earphones, put down my book and i was back into reality again. The operator urged everyone to get off because there were some problems. Firstly, there was an assault in one of the trains. Secondly, one of Heathrow Airport's terminals were closed. I got off and just waited for the next train. There was a long delay but i got to my destination anyway. I told Herman about it and he looked suprised but i didn't put much thought about it. To me, it was just some hiccups on the london tube which was quite normal, nothing to worry about. However, while we were watching the news after dinner there was news of a plane that just crash landed. Heathrow Airport is very near my University and apparently it nearly crashed into a town next to Uxbridge but thankfully the pilot was able to land the plane inside airport grounds. Then it suddenly hit me. Thats why the airport terminal was closed and caused the tube delays. Then i remembered on Tuesday when i heard a loud blast while i was walking on campus. I seriously thought it was a bomb blast but it wasn't on the news. It is not very often that i have experienced front page news that are happening around me. Places that are in quite close proximity. It sort of reminds me of life on earth.

As Christians we are quite a distinct people. We just want to mind our own business and don't really want to mix with others. I realise in many churches, the leadership bombards their members with so many activities that they are rarely outside church boundaries. The mentality of many are to keep as many people in the church. The people on the other hand are also quite happy to be kept in as the famous cliche 'comfort zone' goes. Many are just so comfortable in the church that they see no need to go out and many a times don't really know what the real world really is like out there. Many churches today are like in the world of their own. They think that their church is ideal. They think just because they are Christians everything will be perfect. God will always shower them with bountiful blessings. I would like to liken this scenario to that of me being on the tube. I was listen to my music and reading my book, in my own little world. But in reality there was a plane that just crashed not far from where i was. Im sure people were talking about it on the train but of course i couldn't hear them.

I often hear speakers and read books that say 'move out of your comfort zone'. This has become so much of a cliche that everybody is using it. I myself use to like it very much too. But as i think about it, why do we have comfort zones anyway? Why are we getting comfortable when there is so much work to be done. As Christians we should be on our toes all the time, preparing for the mission that God has put us on earth for. As a reminder let's look at a couple of passages that Jesus gave us while He was on earth.

Matthew 28:19-20
Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Jesus very specifically said the word 'GO'. He didn't say 'stay in the church'. WE are supppose to be out there, make disciples and teach. WE are supposed to be in the world among the people and not be caught up with only church activities.

Acts 1:8
But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.

Jesus commanded us to be witnesses to the world. For me it could quite simply be put :'... and you shall be witnesses to Me in Kluang, and in all Johor and Malaysia, and to the end of the earth.' In that context, looks like indeed we have lots to do.

Our life on earth is not going to be a walk in the park. There is a lot of work still to do but little time left. What are we going to do about it? Stop enjoying our own little world, pull out the earphones and get back into reality.

Do you seek ME for what I can do or do you seek ME for who I Am?

I have been spending a lot more time reading this pass few days. And through His Word and books written by His servants, God has been dealing with me personally. I now understand why until now i haven't even gotten a reply for a part time job, i don't think it's a coincidence. God wants to use this time to draw me back into perspective and nearer to Him. I was reading the book 'Drawing Near' by John Bevere and for the first time in some time, i heard God speaking to me ever so clearly.

'Do you seek me for what I can do or do you seek me for who I Am?'

I was awestrucked and immediately repented before God. God had let surfaced what was actually in my heart. I did not heed his pat on my back. I was constantly praying for God to provide me a job. But was that what God wanted me to be doing? The prolonged time that i was in my room because of my ankle injury was an opportunity for me to draw near to God once again. Let me share with you what God had taught me.

What is our motivation as a Christian? What should be our primary motivation?
Obedience is better than sacrifice. That would mean that if God says don't go to Africa as a missionary or don't start the 'feed the poor' ministry. Don't do it. We will always try to reason that these are for good causes but if God has made it clear, just listen. We often also need to examine our motives.

What type of Christians are we?
There are 2 types:
1. Those who seek God for what He can do.
2. Those who seek God for who He is.

Lets examine this with a familiar story in the Bible. In Exodus, there is a clear contrast between Moses and the children of Israel.
The Israelites can be compared to those who seek God for only what He can do. People who follow God but only for the salvation and blessings. They acknowledge Jesus as their Lord and saviour and look to Him for deliverance and provision but their heart is revealed by personal desires and actions. They still want to take control of their lives and think that they know what is best for themselves. The Israelites were like that. They cried to God for deliverance for hundreds of years and God answered them with Moses. They rejoiced and bowed their heads to worship. But suddenly everything changes when Pharoah rejects Moses' delivering word from God and adds the workloads of the Israelites. They were all so angry that they called judgement on Moses. But when Pharoah finally let's them go after the plagues they have a change in attitude again and were praising God once again and they were confident in Moses once again. When they get to the Red Sea and see the Egyptian army hot on thei heels. Once again they turn to Moses and curse him for bringing them out here to die. (Remember Moses was God's prophet so if they opposed Moses they were opposing God.) Then God intervenes once again by spliting the Red sea. When the Egyptian army was consumed, once again their hearts are changed and worship and praise the Lord once again. This happens again and again during 40 years in the desert with examples like the manna and the golden calf. Why didn't the Israelites ever learn their lesson? Because they were seeking their own desires and only cared for their own comfort. They are happy as long as God is doing what they wanted and unhappy whenever God wasn't doing what they wanted. They have placed their desires over His heart or presence.

Moses was different. He seeked God for who He was. The cycle of the Israelites were repeated many times and God was fed up with it and He told Moses in Exodus 33:1-3. He had promised the Israelites through the patriachs Abraham, Isaac and Jacob the promise land. He was fed up with the stubborn Israelites and didn't want to go with them but instead send an angel to help them drive out the rebels to take the land. It sounds like a good deal right? which i think the Israelites would have taken it.
But Moses responded in Exodus 33:15. 'If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here.'
Moses said that he would rather suffer in the desert than go into the land of milk and honey without God's Presence. What was Moses' heart's cry? GOD'S PRESENCE. He desired the Lord Himself more than His promised blessings. Moses had put seeking God above everything else.

Where do we stand? Which one are we? I admit that i was only seeking God's blessings. I seeked only the world but not the creator. If we looked back at the exodus story. There has been a misconception that God brought the Israelites out of Egypt to the promise land. God brought them out so that they could go to Mount Sinai. Remember what Moses said to Pharoah on God's behalf :' Let my people go, so that they may worship me in the desert.' He didn't say 'Let my people go so that they can go inherit a land.' God gives us the opportunities and longs for us to draw near to Him. He usually gives us hints which we need to identify and respond. I believe if He comes directly to us like He did to Paul on the road to Damascus, many of us will die of fright. God is calling us to Him constantly, that is His heart's desire. He wants to know us, He wants to be our best friend. Shouldn't our heart's desire be to seek Him as well?

Listen...

Many a times we think we have planned everything out. Everything seems to be going your way, it all looks perfect. You are enjoying yourself and carefully anticipating all the wonderful things you have been waiting to do. You have worked hard to get to this stage. You feel strongly that you somehow deserve it. You have been looking forward to this moment of enjoyment. Ever had that feeling?

Suddenly, some little innocent thing happens and your entire plan shatters to pieces instantly. The first thing that comes to your mind is :' Why God? Can't you just let me have this moment of perfectness?' Familiar? I have had many moments like that before and this is my latest episode.

My exams just finished yesterday. As you might have noticed in my last post. I had a plan like i always do. I had a target. A goal to achieve. Everything planned out nicely in my head. All it needed was execution. I was walking to Uxbridge to hand in my application form for a part time job. I have walked on that uneven pavement many times before, but this time i slipped. Just a little tweek... there goes.. I SPRAINED my ankle..

I felt like screaming at the stupid pavement :'Why were you(pavement) uneven?'

I felt like blaming God :'Why God... Why?'

I felt like slapping the next person that walked by.

I felt like sitting down right at that spot and cry.

I felt like standing there and wait for the next person to fall so that i will have a partner.

I felt like squeezing air out of the air.

This were all feelings all in that split second. But the only person i could blame was myself. I wasn't careful. Thats all. Simple.I was only a couple of metres away from the place i was applying a job for. Man.. My first impression to the manager is a limp? Goodness.. What happen to my wonderful plan? It's gone.

It was a lesson that i knew God was teaching me. It's either i haven't learnt my lesson before or He just wants to strengthen His point.

Reminder: God is THE Planner, i am just the assistant

I have planned out everything. It all seems perfect, but God might have other plans. We often crowd ourselves with our plans and aspirations. Sometimes we just have to be quiet and ask God for His aspirations of us. I recently watched the movie 'I am Legend' which Will Smith acted in. I thought it was a quite fantastic movie. It was short, cost me a bomb for the ticket but absolutely worth it(thanks wei shin for the recommendation). There was something that struck me. This is the conversation.

Will Smith: How do you know there are many other survivors?

Lady: Err.. God told me.

Will Smith: God? You mean THE God told you?

Lady: Yeeesss.. Yes.. He told me.

Will Smith: You must be crazy lady.

Lady: Listen, the world is quieter now. If we Listen, we can hear God's plan. You just got to listen. He wants to talk to us.

I feel this is absolutely true. Sometimes we crowd our lives we activities and noise. We want to go out there and do something. It's not wrong but there's a time to listen.

Martha was busy preparing a meal for Jesus. Was it wrong? No.. It was sensible and respectful. When Martha complained, Jesus said:' Martha, Martha. Mary has chosen the better.' Mary was sitting at Jesus feet, listening to Him.

I feel sometimes even things as small as spraining my ankle draws me back to perpective again. A little wake up call from God. A pat on the back from God saying:' Hey son, listen here. Do you want to hear MY plan for you?'

When we are so busy with things in this world. Pause. Take a deep breath. Listen. You will be suprised.

Im Free!! So wats next?

Alast, i finally finished my exams. Overall it was good apart from accounts which was tough, but i think it should have done ok. I am actually quite happy with myself because i think i did study quite hard for this exam. Overall i am very proud of myself with this pass semester. I don't think i ever worked so hard for a consistent period of time before. My reward is that i feel good about it. Ahh...
Im free!! So whats next? Now i have nearly 3 weeks of holiday to deal with. For the fist time it is a bit of a problem to have a holiday. haha.. sounds crazy right.. but yeah.. i have to figure out what i am going to be doing for these couple of weeks. I want to do something productive. These are my tentative plans.
1. Get a part time job
2. Finish reading one book ('Drawing Near' by John Bevere)
3. Visit some family friends
4. Prepare for next semester
5. Drum sessions with church drummer

I was just thinking about it and i realise that in a couple of months time i will be going back home. Yoohooooo.. im so excited. I can actually count the number of months with one hand. haha... I am already looking forward to the journey back home. For now, it's back to reality. Continue to work hard to earn my trip back home. Yeehaaaa...

Exams..

Many of you all will be just starting the New year of school. Maybe you will get straight into classes or for the Form 1 & 4 you will be in your orientation week. As for me, I will be starting my new year with the ending of a semester. Weird.. yeah.. quite.. frustrating as well.. I will be having my end of Semester exams on Monday(7th) to Wednesday(9th).. And guess what.. i will then have another holiday which will last for about 20 days.. good? hmmm.. let's jus say i prefer them to be together then splited up.. anyway.. please pray for me.. God bless..

HAPPY reNEWed YEAR!!

It's the New Year. Welcome 2008!! New year celebration have never been big back in Malaysia. It is usually a quiet affair. Maybe because we come from so many different kind of races and we have our own new years to celebrate. Chinese New Year has always been the 'Big one' for us. Anyway, people always talk about new year resolutions. I'm not a particular fan of resolutions because i believe that resolutions should to be done every single day. Why wait till the new year? I think people use the new year as an excuse to make resolutions and changes in their lives so that they can procrastinate. Isn't it true? hmmm.... haha...

On the other hand, new year's are good as well. Sometimes we may think that we have done it so many times before so there is no big deal. But i believe the most special thing about new year is the changing of the numbers. 2007 to 2008. It is a change that has to take place in our lives whether we like it or not. It is special to me in some ways. Many people gasp and say:' Wah.. one year pass so fast.' Yes indeed it does. It makes me think, so what have i been doing this pass year? Have i used it to the fullest? How can i improve the next year? It's good that it makes most people think about life for a second and ponder. It's a chance for us to be renewed.It's a chance to give thanks to God as well for His ever faithfulness to us.

If you haven't pondered about the past year, please take a moment. It's worthwhile.

If we are to be renewed, change has to take place in our lives. We have to change our actions as well. As dad always tells me:' Only a dumb man will expect change to take place while doing the same thing.'

Let us be Renewed, Refreshed, Restregthen, Revitalised, Refocused in Christ!

Dear God,

Thank you for the wonderful year of 2007. Thank you for your providence, love and patience. Thank you opening the door of opportunity for me. Thank you for the lessons that you have taught me. I pray Lord that this new year will be another step of change for me. I prayed that i will have renewed strength and wisdom in You to continue this journey. Love You Lord. I Bless you. Amen.